Monday, October 10, 2011

Theo Epstein Definitely Maybe Seen Near Wrigley Field

The Chicago Tribune reported yesterday that a Lakeview resident, and lifelong Cubs fan, was 99.9 percent sure he saw Theo Epstein at a Starbucks kinda near Wrigley Field.

Well, if it's in The Chicago Tribune. . . it has to be true. 
I mean, It's THE Tribune. It's not like the report came from some blog where they do their "reporting" out of their basement while wearing underwear and eating lucky charms. No sir, this story has been corroborated by "one Lakeview resident in a purple T-shirt" according to Tribune reporter Paul Sullivan. And if Paul Sullivan wrote it - it's gotta be solid. Because Paul Sullivan is a real life reporter. I mean, obviously Mr. Sullivan went to an esteemed university where he earned his journalism degree - probably with honors. (Ok, we just looked it up... Paul Sullivan only has a B.A. in English from Mizzou... close enough) What we are trying to say is, it's not like it was written by some hacks who would rather photoshop a funny picture than actually make sure things are true.
We're certain it's true, and it can mean only on thing: Theo Epstein is going to be the next General Manager of the Chicago Cubs... as soon as the Cubs ship Starlin Castro to the Red Sox as compensation.