Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Goat Defecates on Dusty Baker

The kid found us an interview of our former skipper Dusty Baker.
In it, Dusty dropped the following dirty bomb:

"At the very end, somebody took a dump right where I stood in the dugout every day," Baker said Monday morning. "That was the low point. The grounds crew guy cleaned it up. He said, ‘Oh, I think it's dog crap.' I said, ‘No it ain't. That's human crap.'"

No sir, that there was goat crap.
That cursed goat crapped on you during the crappy playoffs in 2003. It crapped on you with a crappy closer in 2004, and it crapped on you in 2005 with a crap-load of injuries.

Then, on your way out the door, it literally took a crap in front of you on the dugout floor.

That curse is a mother crapper

Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Valentine's Day, Loser

wrigley marquee birth

In doing some recon around Wrigley today I noticed they had all these baby names going across the marquee. Jaden this, Aiden that.

Two things bother me about this: 1. You gotta assume these parents are Cubs fans, right? So, why no Ernie or Billy? Ryne or Ronnie?

But what really bothers me is: This was the Cubs Valentine's Day idea? Birth Announcements ? ? ?

So...WTH, You have to have a kid to be eligible for this lame holiday? As far as I know, I don't have a kid, and I don't want a kid, and I don't really like kids in general. . . but that shouldn't exclude me from the lovin.

So, you know what: I'm gonna go out tonight, find me some lovely lady, and I'm gonna let the Cubbies know. Because that marquee should say:

Johnny hooked up with Khloe or Zoe or Sophie - or all three :)

You know, to celebrate the true point of Valentine's Day: LOVE

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Wrigley Loses Her Roof

Wrigley Field Roof

Now, this here is a storm to remember.

It is dumping buckets out there and blowing like a son of a gun.
Blowing hard enough that a roof panel on Wrigley Field came loose and ended up on the sidewalk. The police have shut down Clark and Addison near the old ballpark while they clean up the mess - and hope more don't come flying off.

We sent the kid down there to take these pictures. In the top one you can see the biggest pile of debris right under the old marquee. And below here you can see that pieces of that roof are strewn about all over Clark Street. Pieces ranging from the size of home base to the size of a baseball.

Wrigley Field Roof 2

We even got us a souvenir out of the deal:

Wrigley Field Roof 3