WrigleyBlog Dictionary: Tebowing

For those of you who have something better to do than pay attention to kids these days:

Tebowing

te•bow•ing (tee-boh-ing) verb 1. The act of getting down on one knee and acting like you are praying to Tim Tebow.  
also see: buffoonery

via tebowing.com (i kid you not)

Cubs Sign Kim DeJesus' Husband To A 2-Year Deal

photo via @KimDeJesus12 (hope that's ok, Kim)

Kim DeJesus' already lucky husband got a little more fortunate today when he signed a 2 year contract with the Chicago Cubs worth 10 million dollars.

Kim's spouse spent 8 seasons with the Kansas City Royals and one - last season - with the Oakland A's. He has a .284 career batting average; hitting a total of 207 doubles, 50 triples, 71 home runs and 436 RBI. He also has a .356 on-base percentage, and a smoking hot wife.

The Cubs will introduce Mrs. DeJesus' significant other at a press conference from Wrigley Field tomorrow at 11 am. No word as of yet if Kim, a lifelong Cubs fan from Wheaton, Illinos, will be in attendance. (Hope so) 

Go Cubbies!

Catching Bartman

Well sir, I broke down and watched that there ESPN movie about that damn walking curse, Steve Bartman.  Now, I didn't want to because I figured it would be like watching old war footage and the nightmares would start up again, but I'd heard some of the boys down at the VFW talking about it, and they were sayin the whole thing was made to show that Bartman was a good guy and that the "Friendly Confines" weren't so friendly afterall.  Well, that got my damn blood a boilin, so I grabbed a couple Schlitz and the remote and got ready to start my own one-man A'Hole chant right there in my livin room.

The movie started off talkin about ol' Bill Buckner, who if you remember right, was a pretty damn good player back in his days at Wrigley til he went off to Boston and forgot how to field a grounder  Then came the talk of the 2003 season, and all these guys pourin salt on the wound of how good the Cubs were that season...and dammit the Cubs were good that year!!  We had Prior and Wood, Gonzalez and Karros, probably our best team in a damn long time. Then came the buildup to that Game 6 debacle that will forever be burned into my head.    3-0, top of the 8th, 5 outs away from the Series and Luis Castillo hits a foul ball the other way near the left field wall.  Alou's got a line on it, then...WTF?!  Some greedy green-turtlenecked, 1987 Walkman-wearin bastard wantin a souvenir to show his mommy when he got home, knocked it away, along with the hopes and dreams of almost 100 years of Cubs fans. 

I sat there watchin and takin a drink evertime they showed it.  I took it all in until it showed where the computer boys worked their magic and took away all of the fans from the video.  They could show that if no one had touched the ball, Alou would have caught it!!!...I couldn't take it any more so I grabbed my '84 Sandberg homerun ball and threw it through the TV.  And just so everyone knows, I caught it that ball way up away from the field where there was no way I would have ruined the Cubs chances of a pennant.  This Cub fan knows the rules of how not to screw your team and town...if only Bartman did too.

Johnny Davis

Restored Ernie Banks Statue Looks Spiffy

Ernie Banks' bronze statue returned to Wrigley Field today after a week of restoration, and boy does it look spiffy. Apparently the likeness of Mr. Cub was starting to turn green prematurely so they did what they had to do. For good measure they also brightened up the blue accents that were much more subtle when unveiled back in March of '08. That bright blue now matches Ronnie Santo over on Addison.

Let me tell ya, it's a real dandy!

An obviously flustered Crane Kenney forgets to turn off his car lights

No doubt frazzled by Theo Epstein recent hiring, Chicago Cubs President Crane Kenney accidentally left his car lights on this morning. Who could blame the guy for being a little preoccupied. Following the coronation of Epstein as President of Baseball Operations many have started to wonder what exactly Mr. Kenney's role with the team will be. While the Cubs new regime has yet to discuss Kenney's future, it is obvious that he is no longer Cubs owner Tom Ricketts right hand man. Also obvious is Crane's discombobulation by this weeks events.

Theo Epstein Definitely Maybe Seen Near Wrigley Field

The Chicago Tribune reported yesterday that a Lakeview resident, and lifelong Cubs fan, was 99.9 percent sure he saw Theo Epstein at a Starbucks kinda near Wrigley Field.

Well, if it's in The Chicago Tribune. . . it has to be true. 

I mean, It's THE Tribune. It's not like the report came from some blog where they do their "reporting" out of their basement while wearing underwear and eating lucky charms. No sir, this story has been corroborated by "one Lakeview resident in a purple T-shirt" according to Tribune reporter Paul Sullivan. And if Paul Sullivan wrote it - it's gotta be solid. Because Paul Sullivan is a real life reporter. I mean, obviously Mr. Sullivan went to an esteemed university where he earned his journalism degree - probably with honors. (Ok, we just looked it up... Paul Sullivan only has a B.A. in English from Mizzou... close enough) What we are trying to say is, it's not like it was written by some hacks who would rather photoshop a funny picture than actually make sure things are true.

We're certain it's true, and it can mean only on thing: Theo Epstein is going to be the next General Manager of the Chicago Cubs... as soon as the Cubs ship Starlin Castro to the Red Sox as compensation.

Old Style Out As Official Beer Of Wrigley Field

Heard it from a friend who, heard it from a friend who... heard it from another that next year Old Style Beer will no longer be the Official Beer of Wrigley Field and the Chicago Cubs.

The word on the street, via @shadow8pro, is "next year for the 1st time since 1950 Old Style is out at Wrigley, to be replaced by Coors Light."

Also chiming in was @kaseyi99 who "heard new owners of Old Style want out of Cubs contract... supposedly they are paying big bucks to be 'official beer'' of the Cubs and want out of deal."

First of all, it seems like a pretty dumb move for Old Style to not have a presence at Wrigley Field. I mean, beer sales at Wrigley have to account for 90% of all Old Styles purchased, nationwide.

The other thing is: Coors Light? Really?

The Official Beer of the Colorado Rockies will now be ours?! Not too be confused with the Official Beer of the St. Louis Cardinals that owns the naming rights to our bleachers or the Official Beer of the Milwaukee Brewers that puts up a giant ad across the street every game.

How about we do what they say in the Old Style ads: "think local; drink local"? If Old Style is out, why not bring in an actual Chicago beer? Why not, as @iambillschultz suggested, Metro Brewing or Revolution or Half Acre Beer? (I'd say Goose Island, but Anheuser Busch just bought them).

Irregardless, it will be sad to see another tradition leaving Wrigley Field. 

Happy Mother's Day

From all of us here at The Wrigley Blog - Happy Mothers Day to ALL the mothers out there.

Even to Steve Garvey's and that Bartman kid's mother... I'm certain you did your best to raise those boys to be better.

Club 162

A new bar opened up here next to Wrigley Field. It's at the old Hi-Tops/Harry Caray's spot over on Sheffield.

Anyone who is a fan of baseball probably can figure out where they got the name - after the 162 games in a regular season.

Anyone with half a brain should also be able to figure out that only playing the minimum 162 games IS A BAD THING!

162 games is a given, not a goal.

Playing 162 means you didn't make the playoffs. It means you failed for Pete's sake!

Robert Redford, huh?

The Chicago Cubs rolled out Hollywood star Robert Redford yesterday to throw out the opening day first pitch.

For some reason I keep reading that the reason they decided on Mr. Redford is because he played a baseball player in a movie once and that in that movie he hit a home run at Wrigley Field. Well let me set the facts straight here kiddies: Movies are not real. Robert Redford didn't play for the Cubs, and in the movie Wrigley Field was actually a different stadium in Buffalo, New York.
 

The REAL reason they picked Robert Redford is because he's in town to promote his new movie. That movie just so happens to be produced by The American Film Company. And that company just so happens to be owned by Joe Ricketts. And Joe Ricketts just so happens to be Cubs Owner, Tom Ricketts' dad (and the reason Tom and his family had the money to purchase Cubs in the first place)

Now that we got that straight - here are some photos of Mr. Redford. In case you were wondering, he did get the throw to the plate (after doing a fake pitch for some reason). In fact, he darn near threw it over Kerry Wood's head. 

Oh, and the Cubs lost 6 -3

Fake First Pitch

First Pitch

Opening Day 2011

Hey, Hey! Baseball has returned the the Friendly Confines. Go Cubs Go

Cubs and Pirates flags are out

We're in 2nd place before we even play a game?

Classing the place up

Bleacher Bums in line EARLY

A new sign they installed this morning for the Bums

Rickshaw sighting

United's Fancy Club

The New "United Club"

Some genius once said that he didn't care to belong to any club that would have him as a member. Well sir, I also don't care to be a member of this club at Wrigley that WON'T have me.

I've never been into Wrigley's fancy "Stadium Club" and I probably never will be. So I don't give a good darn that the changed the name to "The United Club"

But they did.

Chicago Cubs Unveil New Ad Campaign

#WINNING replacing the Cubs unsuccessful IT'S A (W)AY OF LIFE campaign

Chicago Cubs Ticket SNAFU

Ever hear the phrase that something's not worth paper it's printed on? Well, I get that feeling looking at my Cubs tickets for this upcoming season.

But, one in particular stood out when I was looking through the stack of overpriced stubs. I had the kid blow it up to make certain I was seeing things right.  Sure as shite, I was.

These IDIOTS have an photograph of COREY flippin PATTERSON's name up to bat?! Of all the flash-in-pan, useless, no-good, pretty boys they could have picked from... I've spent the last five seasons trying to forget about Corey friggin Patterson.

Is this some sort of sick joke?

You've Gotta Be Kidding Me

By the way: the game on the ticket - on this 2011 ticket - took place on June 7th, 2004. And the Cubs lost to the Cardinals that night 4-3.

Goat Defecates on Dusty Baker

The kid found us an interview of our former skipper Dusty Baker.
In it, Dusty dropped the following dirty bomb:

"At the very end, somebody took a dump right where I stood in the dugout every day," Baker said Monday morning. "That was the low point. The grounds crew guy cleaned it up. He said, ‘Oh, I think it's dog crap.' I said, ‘No it ain't. That's human crap.'"

No sir, that there was goat crap.
That cursed goat crapped on you during the crappy playoffs in 2003. It crapped on you with a crappy closer in 2004, and it crapped on you in 2005 with a crap-load of injuries.

Then, on your way out the door, it literally took a crap in front of you on the dugout floor.

That curse is a mother crapper

Happy Valentine's Day, Loser

In doing some recon around Wrigley today I noticed they had all these baby names going across the marquee. Jaden this, Aiden that.

Two things bother me about this: 1. You gotta assume these parents are Cubs fans, right? So, why no Ernie or Billy? Ryne or Ronnie?

But what really bothers me is: This was the Cubs Valentine's Day idea? Birth Announcements ? ? ?

So...WTH, You have to have a kid to be eligible for this lame holiday? As far as I know, I don't have a kid, and I don't want a kid, and I don't really like kids in general. . . but that shouldn't exclude me from the lovin.

So, you know what: I'm gonna go out tonight, find me some lovely lady, and I'm gonna let the Cubbies know. Because that marquee should say:

Johnny hooked up with Khloe or Zoe or Sophie - or all three :)

You know, to celebrate the true point of Valentine's Day: LOVE

Wrigley Loses Her Roof

Now, this here is a storm to remember.

It is dumping buckets out there and blowing like a son of a gun.
Blowing hard enough that a roof panel on Wrigley Field came loose and ended up on the sidewalk. The police have shut down Clark and Addison near the old ballpark while they clean up the mess - and hope more don't come flying off.

We sent the kid down there to take these pictures. In the top one you can see the biggest pile of debris right under the old marquee. And below here you can see that pieces of that roof are strewn about all over Clark Street. Pieces ranging from the size of home base to the size of a baseball.



We even got us a souvenir out of the deal: