Goat Defecates on Dusty Baker

The kid found us an interview of our former skipper Dusty Baker.
In it, Dusty dropped the following dirty bomb:

"At the very end, somebody took a dump right where I stood in the dugout every day," Baker said Monday morning. "That was the low point. The grounds crew guy cleaned it up. He said, ‘Oh, I think it's dog crap.' I said, ‘No it ain't. That's human crap.'"

No sir, that there was goat crap.
That cursed goat crapped on you during the crappy playoffs in 2003. It crapped on you with a crappy closer in 2004, and it crapped on you in 2005 with a crap-load of injuries.

Then, on your way out the door, it literally took a crap in front of you on the dugout floor.

That curse is a mother crapper

Happy Valentine's Day, Loser

In doing some recon around Wrigley today I noticed they had all these baby names going across the marquee. Jaden this, Aiden that.

Two things bother me about this: 1. You gotta assume these parents are Cubs fans, right? So, why no Ernie or Billy? Ryne or Ronnie?

But what really bothers me is: This was the Cubs Valentine's Day idea? Birth Announcements ? ? ?

So...WTH, You have to have a kid to be eligible for this lame holiday? As far as I know, I don't have a kid, and I don't want a kid, and I don't really like kids in general. . . but that shouldn't exclude me from the lovin.

So, you know what: I'm gonna go out tonight, find me some lovely lady, and I'm gonna let the Cubbies know. Because that marquee should say:

Johnny hooked up with Khloe or Zoe or Sophie - or all three :)

You know, to celebrate the true point of Valentine's Day: LOVE

Wrigley Loses Her Roof

Now, this here is a storm to remember.

It is dumping buckets out there and blowing like a son of a gun.
Blowing hard enough that a roof panel on Wrigley Field came loose and ended up on the sidewalk. The police have shut down Clark and Addison near the old ballpark while they clean up the mess - and hope more don't come flying off.

We sent the kid down there to take these pictures. In the top one you can see the biggest pile of debris right under the old marquee. And below here you can see that pieces of that roof are strewn about all over Clark Street. Pieces ranging from the size of home base to the size of a baseball.



We even got us a souvenir out of the deal:

Milking Wrigley Field and Painting it Purple

Today proves once again that the brain-trust over at Cubs Marketing doesn't believe in being subtle and they never miss out on an opportunity to milk Wrigley Field.

I believe you would agree that The Stadium has already been sufficiently "Northwestern-ized" for this Saturday's game. What with the Purple and White flags flying on every pole, oversized Northwestern banners hung on the West and to the South as well as eight more cluttering around our beautiful Wrigley Field Marquee. Dang heck, they even painted the right field wall window off of Sheffield Purple.

Well sir - apparently that wasn't enough, because they have decided to also paint the Wrigley Field marquee Purple. Not only are they temporarily defacing the landmark, they are also making sure they do it loudly; promoting and sponsoring it, complete with MasterCard billboards and Valspar paint cans. Because, you see - Wrigley Field isn't just a dandy place to watch a game, she is also a money making machine.

From The Vault: Bodysuited Dude Asked to Leave

Check out this dude. He shows up to a Cubs game in a full bodysuit. I'm talking head to toe red spandex... can't even see his eyeballs.

First off, one has to question the timing of this stunt. It is an midweek, low attended game. That kind of a effort deserves a Friday afternoon against the Cardinals... in the bleachers.

And besides looking odd, the dude didn't do anything at all to cause a commotion. He was even kind enough to remove his helmet for the national anthem (see below:)



But apparently there is some policy against these types of shenanigans because an inning later... security showed up and escorted the dude out like he was Steve Bartman

Cubs Skipper Search - Ignorance vs Incompetence

(image from http://www.mycubstoday.com)

I wouldn't say I'm a big fan of the Cubs new owner or their old General Manager. I'd say that the problem with Tom Ricketts is: He doesn't know what he is doing, and worse yet, he think Jim Hendry does.

And I believe this search for a new skipper is a good example of this battle between ignorance and incompetence.

I read a pretty interesting article this morning over at fanpeeps.com that talked about this very thing. The gentleman there argued that the skipper search has come down to Ricketts' choice: Ryne Sandberg vs Hendry' pick: Mike Quade. Mr. Ricketts did promise to that it was ultimately the decision of the General Manager, but that sounds to me like some sorta business-world jargon to cover his rear in case the decision goes south.

I guess my money would be on Quade at this point. Ricketts has to know that this is Hendry's last big decision as GM. If this new manager doesn't lead the Cubs to the promised land, somebody's going to have to take the fall. And you can't make Hendry the scapegoat if you take the decision out of his hands.

Well, actually Ricketts can and will make Hendry the scapegoat no matter what, but I'd still put a nickel on Quade.

Tyler Colvin Seen Wearing Tiki Idol

Tyler Colvin was seen wearing a Tiki Idol as a shard from an errant baseball bat impaled him in the chest. Perhaps it is the same idol Greg was wearing when he got into that serious surfing accident.

Tyler is doing ok in a Florida hospital, but he is done for the season.

Some people are pointing to this incident as proof that the Cubs are cursed but as our old pal Hank put it: "It kinda proves the opposite... If we were cursed he'd be dead".

Let's just hope Jeff Samardzija returns that Tiki Idol to its ancient burial ground before anyone else gets hurt.