Tyler Colvin Seen Wearing Tiki Idol

Tyler Colvin was seen wearing a Tiki Idol as a shard from an errant baseball bat impaled him in the chest. Perhaps it is the same idol Greg was wearing when he got into that serious surfing accident.

Tyler is doing ok in a Florida hospital, but he is done for the season.

Some people are pointing to this incident as proof that the Cubs are cursed but as our old pal Hank put it: "It kinda proves the opposite... If we were cursed he'd be dead".

Let's just hope Jeff Samardzija returns that Tiki Idol to its ancient burial ground before anyone else gets hurt.

Lolly Gaggers

I share the sentiments of the thousands who are not showing up. I've been through my share of bad seasons but this one takes the cake! Good riddance D. Lee, Theriot, Fontenot and whoever else we can unload. I can't even watch this s--- on tv. What a bunch of lolly gaggers. I guess there have been plenty of seasons this bad but not with the payroll. I could always blame the organization in the past but now we just have a bunch of overpayed lollygaggers. Maybe if we spent more time building a farm system than we spend building toyota signs we could have a winning season.

HANK

Alan Trammell & RBI

I wonder if Bench Coach Trammell ever brags about the fact that he was A speed and A contact, only Paul Molitor could say the same.

Does he also think Marlon Byrd is built like an RBI player?

I'm guessing Coach Trammell talks about this often with the current Cubbies.

And I'm certain, now that he has been told that he won't ever be the Cubs manager, he can forget about the stress of that job and the fact that he has a horrible record as a manager. Now he can focus on discussing and showcasing his A speed and A contact.

From what I hear, he is able to use his A contact to fungo a popfly straight-up to the catcher, then use his A speed to run to first base and back, pick up his fungo and hit the catcher in the back of the heel, thus distracting the catcher from making the catch.

Godspeed Sweet Lou

I watched on the news last night and heard about Lou Piniella's retirement following Sunday's game.

That was quite a drubbing they took at the hands of D. Lee and the Braves.

I wish him all the best and hope Lou's ailing mother goes peacefully.

Hank

The 5 Stages of Ted Lilly Grief

Here are some twitter pallys going thru the five stages of grief following the Cubbies trade of Theodore Roosevelt Lilly III:

Denial- Usually our first reaction to the loss of something we're attached to, is denial:


Anger- This stage of grief is probably the cause of the most pain:


Bargaining- Where we try to make deals to gain back what we lost:


Depression- The most dangerous stage of grief:


Acceptance- A decision to be at peace with the way things are:

Combo Deal

You know what? Maybe I'm missing something.

Maybe the Ricketts' braintrust really is onto something.

Maybe they are simply looking for just the right combination of oversized japanese car ads and clownish cheese noodles with less of those pesky "traditions" the rest of us Wrigley Field fans have come to love.

Maybe if they fiddle with this thing long enough they can figure out a way to turn the season around. Hell, burn down the ivy and we might just win the World Series!!!

Or maybe. . . this some sorta sick joke.

HANK

Cubs Unveil Updated "It's A Way Of Life" Campaign

The second half of the season begins tonight with the Philadelphia Phillies visiting Wrigley Field. To mark the occasion, The Chicago Cubs have updated their 2010 marketing campaign to something a tad more realistic.